The Big C Word.

Cancer. These days everyone knows someone who has it, or has died from it. I would take a wild guess that no one likes cancer, but does everyone hate it as much as I do? Everyone has lost someone close from cancer, mine person just happened to be my Mother. Recently I have been watching a new show appropriately named The Big C, and its a drama about a woman who has Melanoma, the same cancer that killed my mother, the show is painfully true and opens my eyes to alot about life with cancer.

Life with Cancer. We all must adjust to this, maybe the cancerous cells are not taking over our body but they are taking over our world. There must be something we can do. I am so sick of telling people I am praying for them and to be strong and all the other appropriate things to say to someone who is suffering. Crap, its all crap. Yes I am praying for everyone, and I do hope they are magically healed by the power of the Lord, but often the Lord takes another angel and we are left here on this earth to tell others to "be strong and carry on"...its a vicious cycle.

I am here to learn how to live with cancer. So that instead of telling someone to be strong, I can tell them to be weak. Because when you let yourself be weak you learn about yourself and the people you surround yourself with, so be weak for moments. If we must live with cancer we must know that we are not inferior- and we really do not have to act like we do. Being weak teaches you how strong you are, and it also teaches you how important the people you surround yourself with are to your life.

Cancer most often comes with Chemo, the worst C word. Chemo is a powerful drug and sometimes we let it have too much power. I can tell you hands down that if I have the choice to have chemo while I am 80 living with cancer I will choose not to, because often times the worst part about cancer is the chemo. But chemo gave me extra years with my Mom. So I have a love/hate relationship with it. It is so powerful that it can bring more years to your life, but it is so powerful that it can ruin the time you have at the end of your life.

But living with cancer is about living, instead of walking through everyday of life looking at the day behind you or in front of you. Each day should be about living. And that is what cancer is good for, that is why I love cancer- because it is teaching us how to live. Without cancer we were not thinking about the fragility of life..and we are not living for ourselves.

While we do not want to die, not one single one of us is immortal, and while I hate what cancer has done to the ones I love and to my life, I too am thankful for it.

This post is for all of those dealing with cancer right now, know that each day is a lesson, with or without cancer. So be weak and be strong, scream and be silent but do not for one minute let cancer take life away from you because only you can take your life away from you.

Amor,
Ashley