Quarter-Life Crisis.

Recently I have been going through that quarter life crisis that none of my friends have quite come to yet and my older peers have already gone through, awesome right?! No- but I have learned a few things, and I'm sure I won't stop for awhile. But I think that I should share what I have learned so the majority of my friends can understand where I am coming from when I talk crazy talk and do crazy things.

1.) Act your Age.
I am nineteen years old. Thats it. Just nineteen. I have all these big dreams for just 5 years from now and think I need to do all these things and have my life in order for all of that to happen, but it will. 5 years ago I was 14, and my dreams were SO different from what mine are today. I have learned that life will take care of itself if you take care of yourself. While I have always been mature and dealing with things above my age I am still nineteen- when I am 30 I dont wanna wish I had done 19 when I was, so Im gonna do it now.

2.) People are gonna judge you anyway, so whatever.
Seriously. They will. Haters gonna hate is one of my favorite sayings, so let them hate. The president of the United States is a pretty distinguished honor to have right? Like you would feel proud of yourself if you go to that position? Yeah well, haters hate the President. Get over it. It is SO hard to not think of what other people will think of you and what they will say- but they will ALWAYS have something to say, so move on. My Mom always said to be proud of yourself and take pride in yourself. If you have pride for what you do it will not matter what they say about you. Do it for you, not anyone else.

3.) Follow your heart, always.
This one burns. Trust me I know. But if I would have never done or said some of the things I wanted to I would still be thinking about how I never did or lost my chance. Just do it, like Nike. If your heart is telling you to do something, not your stupid subconscious (girls who want to make stupid choices about boys this does NOT apply to you texting him first etc.) then DO IT. If you want to quit school and go to Rome for a year, and you think it will benefit you...do it. I think this is for those my age especially...I like to think that if I really want to have kids in ten years I better follow my heart even more now, because guess what its ALOT harder to up and move to Rome for a year with three kids. Do what you want, especially if your heart says so- because it can tear you up at first but you will never regret following your heart.

4.) Keep those who matter the most close, and screw the losers who only bring you down.
For me this one is probably the most difficult. I have a hard time just deleting people from my life, its scary right? I think so. But I finally did it and I've never felt better. If someone only brings you down to your bad self let them go- and be their bad self. You are gonna be okay, I promise. This is something I am really working on, and its really helping me out. You don't need to buddy up with people for any reason, if you have true friends they will buddy up with you ALWAYS. Oh and your true friends isnt 25 people. Sorry honey this is NOT a middle school slumber party. I am not gonna put a number on it but I have about 4 TRUE TRUE friends. I have room for more because I believe that others will appear, but I also believe that a few might disappear. Hold your true friends close, dont let them slide by if they are being unfaithful to your friendship, and always always always have their back. Friendship truly is the spice of life. Without your friends who are you?
That being said I think that one of your best friends or really close confidants should be a family member. I mean not everyone has the same situation but blood will always be thicker than water. My brother and his girlfriend are two of my closest confidants, I trust them with everything and they would do anything for me and vice versa. I also have this relationship with my Grandmas and a few aunts. Its so important to keep your family close, because at the end of the day, they will always be there for you.

So there you have it, Im not THAT crazy, just trying to find my way. So when I change my mind about where I want to go to school 5 times, judge me all you want...but its just me following my heart. I am nineteen, if I really knew all the answers to my future I would know alot but no one does. I might be a lawyer I might be a doctor I might be a teacher....but whatever I am, Im going to be a good one, and a happy one.

The beauty of being a human being is that everyday we can wake up and decide who we want to be, take advantage of that.

Amor,
Ashley

Classically Simple.

As I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's last night I pondered many thoughts. Why is this one of my favorite movies? Why do I idolize Audrey Hepburn enough to plaster her on my walls and spend countless hours reading about her life?

I may seem like a not so simple girl, and I am not claiming to be simple- but I enjoy simple things. Classics. I have always been drawn to the olden times, and history. I believe those people lived in simpler times and enjoyed the beauty of life in every essence of the word.

The reason I idolize Audrey Hepburn, Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis, Mary Tyler Moore, Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant is because they are what I have left to relive the simplicity of the past. Classic films and pictures that take me back to those times.

If I can be as simply classy as any of those women portray themselves to be in their lives I will have achieved wish, to always be simply classy.

Amor,
Ashley

Ashley's Rules for Girls, Ladies, and Women.

The female gender, often confusing but never to be misunderstood. Lately, I have wanted to smack a few and knock some sense into them- not because they are being catty or mistreating me as a friend- because they are mistreating themselves as women. Not acceptable.

These issues have to do with men. I am not even going to talk about how the man should act, but the ladies in these situations should know better, did their mothers not teach them?

First and foremost- all women need to understand that NO man defines them, except Jesus Christ.
No man defines who you are and you should NEVER find yourself doing things only because a man says you should or wants you to- and its worse if he expects you to do something that will define you within him. You are a unique woman and no one can take that from you except yourself. You can be happily married and in love with man without letting him define you, you can always have your own opinions, hobbies, and self respect.

Second- Do not let any man treat you like dirt, and do not treat any man like dirt.
Its the golden rule here people, we learned it in kindergarten but we some of us need to re learn it. If a man is belittling you and making you feel like you are a no one- and you can recognize that, then why, WHY would you run back to him? You create how a person treats you and if you allow them to do these things they will never stop. NEWSFLASH, people cannot be changed in their ways as dramatically as we all wish. Sure you may be able to switch the way a man dresses but you will never be able to change the way he treats you. So learn this and then follow rule three.

Third- Get over it, and him.
The hardest rule for me personally to follow. Get over it, and him. He isn't in love with you, he doesn't text you anymore, its over and done. Get over it, pick up the pieces and move on. Do us all a favor and do not let your self look ridiculous to SO many people. Do not ask your friends to pick you up a hundred times over the same stupid guy who obviously cannot see what he is missing. Guess WHAT?! There might be a good reason for this, but you will NEVER find it if you can't move on.

Fourth- Let it happen.
While you are trying to get over it, and following rule three, you must learn to let it happen. Your guard can be up because you got screwed over but seriously ladies can we please let the good guys have a chance at our hearts? Do not have your guard up so high and let every situation with a previous guy define a new situation with a new guy. Go on the date with the guy your friend set you up with, who knows if it will work out, but no matter what you will at least have a horrible date story! Let it happen, you will never find the magic of love unless you let it happen.

I am not claiming to have all the answers I really am NOT. I mean look at me I am single, but my Mother did instill a few values in me and for that I am forever thankful. Please ladies, do not let men ruin who you have the potential to be.

Amor,
Ashley

Update

Hello all, haven't blogged for awhile, but I am always thinking about things I want to blog about so I am going to blog about a few tonight, to vent- and update you on my feelings about the world that you all care so dearly about! :)

Amor,
Ashley

Love in the lyrics.

Pretty much the story of my life, right now. Love it. Sugarland- Little Miss.

Little Miss Down On Love
Little Miss I Give Up
Little Miss I'll Get Tough
Don't you worry 'bout me anymore

Little Miss Checkered Dress
Little Miss One Big Mess
Little Miss I'll Take Less
When I Always Give So Much More

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again

It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
(Okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Little Miss Do Your Best
Little Miss Never Rest
Little Miss Be My Guest
I'll Make More Anytime That It Runs Out

Little Miss You'll Go Far
Little Miss Hide Your Scars
Little Miss Who You Are
Is So Much More Than You Like To Talk About

Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
And it'll be alright again

It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
(Okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Oh, Lord
Oh, and you are loved
Are loved

Little Miss Brand New Start
Little Miss Do Your Part
Little Miss Big Ol' Heart Beats Wide Open
She's ready now for love

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Well, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again

It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Red High Heels and Running from Robbers.

Tonight, as I was getting my outfit prepared for a holiday party I have to attend tomorrow I was searching through my shoes to find my red high heels. And no most of my pairs of shoes do not have a story worthy of telling, but these do. My red high heels are shoes that I had dreamed of ever since I learned to belt the lyrics of Kellie Pickler's "In My Red High Heels" lyrics. And I finally found the perfect pair this past summer while browsing at Nordstrom Rack in Salt Lake City, Utah. I found BCBG Red High Heels for 80% off! That my friends is a steal. They were perfect fit, not comfortable, but wearable. Perfect. Well since I am such an over packer and shopper I could not fit my new pairs of shoes, which ended up being three pair at the end of my trip,(oops) my shoes had to be shipped to me by my Grandmother. So a few days after I arrived home, I received my beloved red high heels in a box. I didnt bust them out to be worn until my dear friend Ali's birthday party a month later. I received some pretty wicked blisters that fine night, but it was all worth it to break them in. Here comes the REAL story.

As most of you know I was mugged at the end of October. And though I had not truly thought about this until now I was wearing my beloved red high heels that night. Now the shoes may not seem like a big deal to you- but when I think about it, they were spectacular. How in my right mind did I stand on these 3 inch heels while being held at gunpoint? How did I knowingly decide to run from two men with guns? In high heels. While humourous most of you know I chose to run in a zig zag to becoming a "moving target". I was examining my red high heels to wear tomorrow, and they are scratched now and have some marks, but those marks saved my life. I have no doubt that those heels represent the power of a woman, in her red high heels. My very own Ruby Red Slippers.

Amor,
Ashley

Who You'd Be Today.

I normally have positive uplifting things to say. But today I dont. Sometimes you really just need to cry and let it out. The holidays are especially hard for me, I miss my Mom a great deal. And I cant help but wonder what Thanksgiving would have been like if she would have been here. Who would I be today if my Mom was still here? I know I would not be the same person. Kenny Chesney pretty much sums it up in his song Who You'd Be Today. I wish everyday that my Mother was here to give me advice, be the wind at my back, and to hang out with. But then again who would I be today?

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Amor,
Ashley